38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. Luke 1:38 English Standard Version
An unplanned pregnancy devastates
the life of a young woman and her family. While I was a teacher I saw this
happen occasionally, and it was always traumatic. All her plans, dreams, and
hopes suddenly evaporated in a cauldron of hurt, anger, recriminations, and
blame. Sadly, most of the time the father simply absconds with little impact.
Sometimes the family turns their back on her, leaving the mother to deal with
the wreckage alone and without support, physical or emotional. Friends drift
away as the burdens of being a mother shunt their lives in radically different
directions. Peers often judge the mother immoral and somehow damaged. If the
mother is fortunate, her family rallies around her, providing support,
encouragement, and guidance during this life-altering experience. I watched one
young woman overcome. She graduated from high school and then went on to college,
graduating recently. Her friends did not abandon her. Her parents did their
best to give her the assistance she needed, and from my seat on the sidelines,
they did an excellent job. Despite the radical change in her life, she seems to
have done well. Mary faced just such a challenge.
Often lost in the Advent story is
the profound impact this pregnancy had on Mary’s life. In our modern culture,
an unplanned pregnancy need not be the end of the world, and while there is a
certain amount of social stigma, it is not as overwhelmingly negative an event
as it was in the first century. Mary’s pregnancy generated a significant social
stigma. In her day, an unplanned pregnancy might cause stoning. Joseph had
decided to divorce her quietly, avoiding the worst results. Even then, Mary
would have faced life as an impoverished outcast. Still today in our culture
which is rather casual regarding pregnancy outside of marriage, a single mother
faces serious problems. But Mary accepted this challenge gracefully.
After hearing the message from the
angel, she simply says let it be so. She places her faith in the Lord to
provide for her in the troubles she’s sure will come her way. Until the angel
visits Joseph, he seems to react as most men would. “Oh, she’s been sleeping
with someone else, well so much for the marriage.”
Imagine telling mom and dad, by the way
this baby-bump is from the Lord. I can see their reaction in my mind. Telling
friends would not be any easier. Even after Joseph and Mary tie the knot, the
raised eyebrows and whispering would not stop, “Did you hear about Mary? Well,
I don’t want to spread rumors, but they couldn’t wait. Hummnnn.”
All of this adds up to a
challenging start for the marriage and for Jesus. A certain level of societal
disapproval would follow them for some time. Eventually it would subside, but
the pain of being the vessel of Emanuel would leave a mark. It is often that
way. Scour scripture and you find that being God’s servant often comes with
great personal discomfort. As I mentioned in an earlier musing, we tend to
focus on God’s blessings, which are manifold; but, we also tend to minimize the
challenges of being His servant. Sometimes submission hurts. Sometimes the
mission comes with great personal sacrifice. Sometimes, as in the case of Mary,
we may find our reputation sullied unfairly.
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