16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, 17 and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared.” Luke 1:16-17 English Standard Version
I was blessed by and enjoyed the
presence of a Godly father in my life. While my father was not perfect, he was
there and active. As we say in the Army, he was hip-deep in hand grenade pins
and putting rounds downrange my entire life. As he lay dying in the hospital,
he murmured, “I’ve always been proud of you, son.” Even to the end, he sought
to encourage and strengthen me. He came from a broken home and engaged in the
long fight to set a different course for my life. To use a Biblical turn of
phrase, he inclined his heart toward me.
Sadly, today many, if not most, people
did not enjoy the presence and influence of a Godly father. If they are lucky,
their fathers are deeply engaged in setting a schedule for their lives,
thinking busyness will substitute for true, deep, loving, engaged father. Helicopter
parenting does not necessarily indicate parental involvement. Other fathers
seek to replace engagement with material blessings. They imagine that providing
a big house, nice clothes, and the latest toys will replace estrangement. So
many of us pour our lives into our work, while our children suffer the pain of
a missing father. And then there are many children who suffer from an absent
father, either emotionally or physically. This is not a new problem. Simply
peruse scripture and you will find that ever since the fall in the garden,
fathers have done a poor job raising our children. Our weak selfish fathering
produces aimless and reckless children; but, God never intended it to be that
way.
God is a God of relationship and
reconciliation. He designed us to enjoy close, meaningful, and strengthening relationships,
especially in the context of family. Advent displays God’s deep abiding desire
for close relationship. We rightly tend to focus on the Emanuel, God came near,
portions of Advent; but, God yearns for much more. He wants fathers to incline
their hearts toward their children. He sets the example by inclining His heart
toward us and sending His son to show us the way.
Christy and I will spend
considerable time finding the right presents for our children. I text them,
asking for recommendations. But what they want the most is my abiding love in
the form of presence. Even though they are mature and grown, they still long
for and appreciate my physical presence. They want a father whose heart is
inclined towards them. They rightly associate presence with love and concern. Long
ago my children left behind the need for daily instruction and guidance. They
are adults and chart their own course for better or for worse; but, they still
need me and long for my presence. Knowing that I still care about them and am
willing to spend time with them, strengthens them against the challenges and
insults this world sends their way. Advent is all about presence.
God became one of us, Emanuel,
and part of our preparation for Advent should be turning toward family, especially
our children. The best gift I can give my children, even as they are adults, is
my focus and time. Contrary to what many may say, you cannot schedule quality
time. Quality time springs from an abundance of time. So this Advent, we make
sure that our hearts are inclined towards our children, making a present of our
presence.
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