My First Sergeant and I watched PVT Rudd drive away, with a feeling of failure. SPC Rudd had arrived in our unit a little over a year ago. Early on he’d impressed with his field skills. Though a PLL Clerk (supply clerk), he displayed tactical abilities beyond his rank. In short, he was a natural soldier. But he had one significant shortcoming. While in garrison, SPC Rudd drank to excess and behaved badly. Soon, he was in front of me for fighting in the barracks. What followed was sad indeed. Rudd would drink and do something reprehensible. He spent time in rehab, took antabuse, and was involved in serious counseling. He lost his rank and privileges. We counseled him, informing him that should he continue in this behavior we would be forced to discharge him. He pleaded with me, asking me to find a way to keep him in the field. While in the field, denied easy access to drink, he performed very well. Once he impressed the entire chain of command. Wanting to give him some sense of success and perhaps divert him from drinking, I prepared an impact award. Sadly, we returned to garrison on Friday and that night he assaulted the Staff-Duty NCO. Disappointed, I tore up his award paperwork. The downward trend continued until with no other options left me, I put him out of the Army. The one thing that I did in his favor was I gave him a Reenlistment Code that would allow him to reenlist should he get his drinking under control. He drove away from Fort Hood and out of my life. I often think of PVT Rudd and his inability to choose wisely, a victim of free-will.
When Yahweh conceived the universe as we understand it, He included the concept of free-will. He endowed humanity with the ability to choose, setting us apart from the animal kingdom. Genesis chapters two and three include the details of choice. Here is the place that I’ve prepared for you. Eat what you want, except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. You know the rest of the story. We chose poorly…to quote a popular movie. While we might argue about the nature of free will given that God sees the end from the beginning, as humans, trapped within the flow of time, we enjoy the ability to choose, with all its blessings and perils.
Free will comes with both blessings and perils. Free will enables true love. At the risk of alienating all pet lovers, animals, driven by herd instinct, do not display true love. They do not choose. They understand the pack they belong to and respond appropriately. That is why we see dogs so desperately loyal to a malodorous malevolent owner. Despite their mistreatment, they hang on. For good or for ill, that owner is the alpha and leader of their dysfunctional pack. Humans enjoy the ability to choose and modify their behavior. That is what makes human love such a potent component of creation. We choose to love. We choose to comply. And that makes all the difference. Despite my problems and failures, Christy, my wife, chooses to love me. That makes our relationship quite special. But free will comes with a downside, consequences.
Poor choices bring poor results. In our current cultural milieu, we like to downplay consequences, minimize or eliminate them if at all possible. As a teacher, I see this all the time when dealing with students and their failure to complete an assignment on time. There’s always a reason why, and that reason is rarely, “I just failed to do it.” Oh, I have the occasional student that owns their own failure; however, the majority of them come to class ready with some sort of excuse, much like Adam’s mealy-mouthed, “…The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:12 As much as we’d like to avoid them, our choices bear fruit.
When we choose wisely, we normally enjoy positive results. When we choose poorly, in rebellion, we reap the painful crop of failure. And it’s not just us who suffer the results of our poor decision-making. Those around us, especially those close to us also suffer the consequences of our ill choices.
I deployed for a year-long tour to Iraq with a family friend. We worked and attended chapel together. His children and mine were close, having spent multiple nights in each other’s homes. We enjoyed dinners together. While in Iraq, I noticed that he was spending an excessive amount of time with a female soldier. When confronted, he claimed that he and his wife had an “arrangement.” I remarked that I would find that hard to believe. He insisted and continued pursuing the relationship. Upon our return, his wife quickly figured out what had happened. She and the children rapidly departed for home, leaving him alone. Soon divorce paperwork arrived and their marriage ended. Then I got to explain to my young children why their friends were gone. Though they did not understand divorce and the associated turmoil, they clearly understood the pain associated with the departure of their good friends and the isolation that ensued. Our poor choices produce effects that echo into other lives and across generations. I profit from decisions that my grandparents made. On both sides of my family, grandparents endured a variety of pains and setbacks in their lives. And, in both cases, they made a series of wise decisions that still shape my life, long after they have gone on. Their Godly choices improved my life.
God gave us free will. Free will includes the ability to make decisions that wreck our current and future lives. And God allows us to make choices that echo into eternity. We choose to reject Him in this life, He allows us to reject Him in the next. We may be tempted to blame Him, holding Him accountable for those who endure hell, but they made the choice. He allows them to shuffle off into an existence of their own devising and construction. The sad truth is, God continually holds out the hand of restoration and redemption and we continually choose to reject it.
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