Civil Communication Part I

     “Hey, John, please read this and tell me what you think,” I asked as I handed my good friend and fellow soldier the still warm sheet of paper?

     “Sure, be glad to,” he replied, accepting the short missive. He leaned back in his chair, stretching out his long lanky frame and settled back to peruse my draft email. Since it was short, I took a seat on the window ledge, gazed out across a dusty, hazy Baghdad and waited. After a few moments he handed me the paper, grinned and said, “I wouldn’t send it if I were you. Your anger shows very clearly and they will not hear what you’re trying to say.”

     “Thanks,” I sighed, “I appreciate it.” I returned to my desk and savagely punched the DEL key, consigning the draft to a digital oblivion and started over. LTC John Grimes, now a full colonel, often helped me past my own anger in a variety of ways. I frequently asked him to preview emails prior to hitting send. Though I think of myself as calm and easy-going; the truth is that I am possessed of an imposing anger physically and in the written word.

     Once after an altercation between myself and another officer from a subordinate unit, John dryly noted, “I’m glad you weren’t angry with me. You can be quite frightening and imposing when you’re really worked up.” As an officer in a combat zone I found a wide variety of issues that provoked an angry, visceral response and, perhaps too loosely, gave free reign to wrath. Now, I see a similar tendency, especially in Facebook, twitter, and other social media.

     Modern tele-communications enables near instant response to stimuli. Any time I open up my computer and log onto FB I release a deluge of content into my mind, much of it an angry response to something someone did or said that someone else finds offensive. Strong, hateful, words spill across my screen, inviting response. Should I desire, I can peruse entire arguments between total strangers, letting their distemper morph into my distemper. Small, insignificant events that take place on the other side of the continent, sometimes the world, consume time better allotted to local cares and concerns. Without my good friend to stay my hand my umbrage rises for all to see.

     Proverbs 19: 11 says, “11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” In this day of full throated public venting about any issue we need to let this scripture guide our hands and thoughts as we consider which posts need our response. Many things offend, but not all require my input. After all, my angry voice will do nothing to either forward or retard the flow of events. While we must work for a just society, there is a fundamental difference between the cry for justice and an angry offended rant.

     My voice should cry out for compassion, kindness, gentleness, justice, and self-control. When I choose to enter a public debate does my voice bring the good news or the good nag? The writer in Proverbs 18:21 reminds me that, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” I should pen words that bring healing, bind up wounds, ease pain, and foster unity. We live in an age with unprecedented abilities. With a few keystrokes I reach audiences across the face of this tired old globe! When I face the Lord and account for my use of His blessing, what will I say about this incredible ability to communicate? Does God’s love shine through my words or am I merely angry and offended?

     Ranting drowns out the good news. God desperately wants to reach the lost and broken, even when they would rather be left alone in their desperation. Letting go of my offense opens the door for God’s graciousness. When, like Jesus, I relinquish my rights I enable His love to work in my life. When I no longer see events as offensive to my personal liberty, they transform into opportunities to reach out and bridge chasms of pain, misunderstanding, and frustration.