Thursday, January 11, 2024

Some Thoughts Concerning Pornography

                I grew up in the age of paper porn. We either had an uncle or older brother with a questionable subscription, or we had to summon the courage to go into a convenience store to purchase one, hoping that the clerk did not care about the laws regarding age…or that they were not a woman. That alone kept most of us from imbibing in large amounts of porn. Then came the internet and things changed. Suddenly porn became something accessed from the privacy of your own dark bedroom. Many of us, self-included, fell into a deep dark depraved pornnado. We whiled away hours degrading ourselves and our ability to engage in Godly sex, and all in relative anonymity with no monetary cost. Sadly, the cost comes in marital relationships bereft of one of God’s greatest gifts, true intimacy. Here are some thoughts regarding the effects of pornography and how to fight the temptation:

1.      I share these as struggler who’s currently enjoying victory over porn. Please remember that this victory comes from the Lord and not my own strength, which is manifestly unequal to the task. Unfortunately, in the past these periods of victory have been all too fleeting, vaporous, and ephemeral. So, I write as a fellow struggler, and this current season of victory is from the Lord not my own abilities. Romans 6:4

2.      Porn takes an event God designed to express intimacy and union on the deepest level and turns it into a solitary act of self-gratification. The longer we stay ensnared in the grips of porn, the harder it is to enjoy healthy sexual relations with our spouses. Instead of giving ourselves, in love, to our partner, we ingrain the thought-pattern of sex as a self-gratifying “taking” act into our psyche. The longer we engage in porn, the deeper we drive the habit of “taking sex” into our behaviors. This self-centered focus makes meaningful sex nearly impossible since we approach the sex act as simple self-gratification instead of the giving unifying act God intended. Ephesians 5:29-33

3.      We mistakenly own the thoughts and impulses that lead to pornography. Not every thought that crosses our minds comes from us. I believe that many of the thoughts that lead to pornography are planted by satan. We assume they come from our hearts and minds and fail to engage in the spiritual warfare needed to combat them. Our inaction cedes the spiritual landscape of our minds to the enemy. We need to fight back, employing the powerful name of Jesus to help us in those dark hours of desperate need. II Corinthians 10:3-5

4.      We often miss the subtle attacks delivered through our casual consumption of modern media. Advertisers and merchants have long known that “sex sells,” and exploit this fact. We need to exercise discernment concerning what we consume. Movies that feature risqué scenes titillate and those thoughts and images often linger and later lead us into darker moments. In effect, these images pave the way for darker impulses later. We need to carefully select those images and stories that we let into our minds and not underestimate the effects of what we consume. Job 31:1

5.      All our lives, all our marriages have seasons. When we face trouble or turmoil in our lives we often turn to the trap of self-gratification through pornography. When those rough patches come our way, engage them in prayer and consultation with friends who are fellow believers. We should not attempt to struggle through them alone! We were not meant to battle in solitude. Seeking the Lord’s help in prayer and the support of brothers in Christ helps to fortify us against the attacks from the evil one. Godly marriage counseling may be in order. Ecclesiastes 4:12

The true battlefield for our souls is in the heart and mind of men. In our current age, satan has exploited the easy anonymous nature of the internet to attack us at our weakest. But we need not succumb to his attacks. God has provided us the weapons of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:10-18, and we need not battle alone. I suppose that as long as we draw breath as men, satan will seek to attack in this area, and while I currently enjoy a period of victory in this, I also know that satan will not give up. I also know that God is greater and has designed and destined me for something better than what the world accepts. I hope these words help you in some small way.

 

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