Recently the preacher where I attend challenged us to think of five moments in our lives where God had somehow intervened, orchestrated events perhaps, in order to change the trajectory of our lives.
“Think of them as stones,” he said, “Like the five stones David picked up on the way to fight Goliath.” So here they are five stones God dropped into my life that changed everything, that altered the arc of my life. Stones that would make the difference between the man I am now and the other person I might have been. Stones that, at the moment, seemed in some ways crippling, but now, looking back, paved the way to a closer relationship with Father. But, before I can talk about stones, I must provide a bit of back-story.
I grew up in a Godly home. Both of my parents were, and remain, committed Christians, active in their faith and congregation where they worship. I wanted for no good thing. I enjoyed friends and family in abundance. We attended a great community of faith (South 11th and Willis St. Church of Christ); one where I was surrounded by men and women who daily sought to walk out their faith, where I was nurtured and cared for. Some of you that read this know, for you were there. I share this with you so that you will know that my mistakes were my own. They were produced by my own pride and stiff neck. I alone bear the guilt for my failure. Sadly some of those that love me bore the shame of my sin. Yet, God graciously bore with me, arranging for the stones needed to redirect my path.
Stone # 1: Baptism remains a bright, shining moment in my path. Though I was a young teenager, the moment remains fresh. I still see the blurry wavering faces surrounding me in the pool at Camp Wildwood as a counselor plunged me deep into the water. Though I’ve vacillated and wandered as the years unfolded, that experience of being buried with Jesus has stayed with me. It reminds me that God has a claim on me. He owns me. I died then. He lays claim to all that I am and have. As His bondservant slave really, I am often recalcitrant. But, since that undimmed moment, He owns me, no matter how far I wander or how badly I fail.
Stone # 2: I went through a time where I wandered far from God. In truth, I ran away. Like Jonah, I rejected God’s desires and admonitions. My actions brought dishonor to my family, earthly and heavenly. Some of you who were there know, the rest can well imagine. It is enough to say that I was despicable in my rebellion. Yet, in the middle of all the ugliness, Dub Orr, an elder in the congregation where I grew up, dropped by my place of work. He asked to eat lunch with me. I agreed. During our meal, he tenderly without rancor or condemnation extended fellowship and love. “Matt,” he said with sad eyes, “Right now you have rejected God’s path for you. I just want you to know, that when you are ready to come home, we are ready to accept you in love.”
Unremarkable in delivery and location, simple words that offered reconciliation made all the difference. We ate that day at Pizza Inn on East Highway 80. But there God dropped a stone that opened a door for me. I was not ready that day, but soon I was.
Stone # 3: A night of debauchery and failure ended with a large policeman, one of Abilene’s finest, kneeling on my back while placing me in manacles. As the stony asphalt ground into my face, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my way would end in failure. I was not nearly as smart as I thought I was and I could no longer flout the law. My flawed decision-making process had led to the curtailment of my freedom. I was a selfish, drunken, stumblebum. Fortunately for me, that incident turned into a near miss. I did not hear the clang of a jail door. I was not confined. I did have some hefty fines and a car to pay for, but my future was not impinged. God used a dark night to pave the way for future growth. He had other encounters in mind.
Stone # 4: The dark night of failure gave way to a dawn of repentance and restoration. I wish I could say that from that point forward all was well, that all my decisions were wise, that I did not stumble, but those would be lies. However, the path changed. I moved forward with a better understanding of how weak I was. Mr. Orr was true to his word. The faith community at South 11th and Willis welcomed me back without judgment. A civil magistrate took care of that. Soon, I was stationed in Denver, Colorado. I attended a congregation there, meeting a fine, beautiful Godly young woman. As young men and women are wont to do, we started spending time with each other. One thing led to another and we grew more serious about a future together. One evening in the late summer we picnicked in a park just west of Denver. Sitting there, enjoying the quiet and watching the lights of Denver come on; she turned to me and said, “Matt, I feel myself falling in love with you.” Now, I thought this was great news; but she continued, “Consequently, this will be our last date. I will marry a Godly man, and you are not him. You play at church, but you are not serious about your relationship with God.”
A door had closed. A moment had passed. I had been weighed in the scales and found wanting. She remained friendly, but there was no going back. Time and distance have blurred her face and erased her name, but that moment, that stone, remains. God used that to refine a self-centered young man. There was, and is, so much I do not know or understand.
Stone # 5: Eventually, with a lot of work by God, He found me ready for marriage and brought Christy into my life. We married, spending two years in the Philippines as missionaries. Then I pursued a career in the military. We had children. And as things unfolded I was sent to Iraq multiple times. The last tour came at an inconvenient time for my family. Christopher, the oldest, needed serious surgery, Candace and Timothy were in high school with all the standard teenage problems. Christy, never a fan of large crowded cities, was not particularly thrilled with living in San Antonio. But, duty called and I shipped out for one final hurrah. Arriving in Iraq, I sorted out the location of the chapel on our FOB (Forward Operating Base) and trudged toward it on the first dusty Sunday there. Feeling despondent and rather sorry for myself, I paused at a spot where I could look out over the T-walls into the city beyond. Despair welled up in my soul and I cried out to God, “Why did you send me back to this God forsaken place!” And then I heard Him drop a stone, deep within my inner being.
God spoke, “Matt, I have never forsaken this place. I am here just like I am in San Antonio. You cannot escape me. And, I love these people just as much as I love you. I sent my son for them too. Never forget that.”
A stone dropped into the deep, dark well of my self-centered pity and pain. Its splash still ripples through my life. The deployment unfolded like they all do. I suffered separation from my loved ones. Christopher’s surgery, while good for him, was excruciating for Christy. I was rocketed, mortared, and participated in a horribly failed operation. But true to His word, God was there. He never left me. In fact, all of these stones, and others, serve to remind me that God is indeed with us. And He uses stones to move us, to change us, to reclaim us, and restore us.
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